Parent Messages

We all know what we should eat, don’t we?  So why don’t we all eat what we should?  What undermines us in our quest to do “the right thing”?  Do we have conflicting messages of what is “right” in our heads?  Have you ever stopped to think about these contradictory thoughts and try to make sense of them?

During our formative years, we are bombarded with advice from parent figures (including non-parents who are significant to us) on how we should and shouldn’t behave and what we must and mustn’t do.  These messages are there to protect and nurture us.  A child following these messages believes that she will be safe and cared for because that is our basic survival instinct.

But an adult is capable of rational thinking.  We can make our own choices based on the here and now; we can weigh up the pros and cons and make a choice that best suits us and our current situation.  Sometimes, we will choose to still follow parental advice but often we have to adapt to different times and circumstances from our parents and make different choices.

What messages did you grow up with about food?

• Eat everything on your plate
• Your parents worked hard to put the food on the table
• Eat up to show respect and appreciation
• Do you want to grow up and be strong?
• Think of the starving children

Your parents may have grown up in a time when choices were limited; food cost 40-50% of the household income, and was often only available at mealtimes with nothing in between. Therefore, these messages were well meaning and relevant to the time but …are you still obeying them as an adult years later and are they relevant now?

• Are you eating everything on your plate past the point of fullness?
• Do you eat three meals a day and also snack between times?
• Do you believe that you are being rude to a host by failing to clear your plate?
• Do you have a typically modern, sedentary lifestyle?
• Are you overweight?

Answering yes to any of these questions may be a clue that you are still, probably unconsciously, following parent messages that are not helpful for you.

What is the reality of food today?

Food is cheap, plentiful, varied and easily accessible.  Even in these tough economic times, it now costs less than 10% of household incomes.  We are lucky enough in the western world to know that famine is not on the horizon.  So we do not have to stock up in case of imminent shortages – we know where our next meal is coming from.

So… if we know that we are able to eat if we are hungry, that is the time to eat – when we are hungry.

It’s time to press the override button on those messages replaying in our minds and rationalise them for today’s world:

• Eat everything on your plate - if it’s the correct portion size and matches your hunger.
• Your parents worked hard to put the food on the table - but they can save more money next time by buying less food!
• Eat up to show respect and appreciation – and stop when you are full to show respect and appreciation for yourself and your health.
• Do you want to grow up and be strong? - Absolutely, and without the burden of carrying extra weight!
• Think of the starving children - and go and do something to help them but stuffing yourself does not alleviate their suffering.

Whether you eat that extra food or whether you throw it in the bin, you have a choice – waste or waist!